I am not one for secrets and believe my life should be an open-book test in the simplest class you have taken in your whole college career. Not only that, my life is pretty fucking interesting!
There was a period in time, of my life, where I had a huge crush on being loved by another person. We can blame it on the lack of expression of love from my parents throughout my childhood. Nevertheless, despite being heartbroken by an asshole, I was too in love to see that I was a side chick!
Sub-rosa! Its a secret! Well…
I am letting it be known.
Yes! You read it correctly. I was a side chick.
As I reminisce on my high school days, I recall girls exclaiming, “You’re a homewrecker”, “You stole her boyfriend”, while looking confused because I was single to the bone. But this time, I was.
“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too“
Woe this English proverb that is, quite frankly, misunderstood and misinterpreted. To lay it down to layman’s terms, “you can not have the best of both worlds”. But this guy did, briefly.
Young, sucker for love, Shirley. Caught up in this web of a second life by a man she was recently in a relationship with. Did you catch that! I was side-lined by an EX BOYFRIEND!
While in his lowest point, celebrating a new year of his life, I came to his rescue. Resisting temptation to jump into a drunken night of mistakes, we exchanged numbers. Days go by and neither of us wanted to be the first to text or call but, he caved in. He started with a polite, “Thank you for me taking care of me.” Next thing I know, he is helping me rebuild my rooms furniture, leading amazing sex on the day it was completed. What a mark to leave on someones life huh? Well, from that moment, we started a new friendship that included amazing benefits.
Weeks go by and we are going out, publicly. Movies, the mall, the beach, lunch dates in between our classes, a cute little pizzeria I could never say no to. Day or night. We even found a “favorite spot” for us to relieve sexual tensions when ever the concept of bedroom sex was, too, modest. I even marked my territory. Every day we were together, he was branded with a hickey, a scratch, or a bite mark. This boy was, MINE!
I was not your average side chick. I was not being called in the late, send me nudes, hours nor were there late night visits. A man with a girlfriend would not dare take his side chick out in public, right? During the day, right? Where his, supposed, girlfriend worked, right?
I was crippled. I could not have seen it coming. I could not see that I was the girl he had as an appetizer while having a full course meal. Not only that, we were once in love. So, it is only right that we get caught up in each other again. Unfortunately, I was, too, caught up. Because of this, I failed to recognize the signs. This forward thinking is obviously why I missed the fact that I was being played.
It all became evident that something was up once I realized I hid it from my friends. When I recognized we pretended as if we did not rekindled a bond and hid that from our friends. Maybe I was afraid they would judge me for going back to a man who cheated on me or maybe I did not want anyone to know my business in general. Regardless, it happened.
Things started to become all, too, fishy after a while of indulging in bliss. During the moments we would hang out, he would abruptly get a call or a text. Soon after, give or take an hour or so, he would have to go. I thought nothing of it. He was grown; he had things to do; he had people to see. You know, the boy had a life. Then, it became a specific time frame. There was specific hours of the day that he had to leave and if he could, he would come back. I disregarded that because I did not care. I had the man I loved back in my life without the strings attached. But, I was officially suspicious when my closest friend, at the time, spilled some tea.
The gracious woman I believed to have lifted my ex boyfriends soul into the palm of her hand was telling people she had a boyfriend, but, she never mentioned who. It was only fair to assume it was him because of their history, that I will get into another time. The pieces came together one afternoon where he answered the phone and said “I have to leave to go see (said gracious woman) in the hospital”. My PETTY ass, devised a plot that, in the end, broke my heart into a trillion more pieces. The next day, I decided to pay her a visit at the hospital. I carried a get well soon card in hand and a fake ass smile plastered across my face. Upon my entrance I see the man who was just laying in my bed, near her bedside. I sat, amiably, in the chair closest to her, presented her with my best wishes, that fake ass smile, spoke for a while, and left. Once I got out that door, I was:
READY TO EAT HIM ALIVE!
I do not believe you are aware as to why I was so passionately upset. Let me go into further depth of the situation. This boy acted like we haven’t spoken to each other since we broke up. And I mean, he did not look me in the eye, he did not get up to give me a hug, he did not say hello nor did he mention my name. Homeboy acted like we were still at the post -break up, I hate your guts phase. When we were at the “I am still fucking my ex while fucking my next” stage.
He confirmed my suspicions. And, I said nothing. I did not call. I did not text. I just stayed quiet. And, he did the same. From that day on, everything ended. I became the quiet side chick that let the deception fade. While, it still lingers. Unfortunately, history repeats itself because I am an idiot. Thereupon, this experience paved the road for my future as a serial side chick.