I was once an unaware side chick. You know, the woman your boyfriend or husband decided to sneak around with. However, I was the woman chosen to be the second woman without any warning. Oblivious! Until, it was too late. I was already used by the same man, multiple times.
So the next time around, I consciously agreed to be a side chick.
I was beyond hurt the first time I was someones side dish. This experience led to a period of self-evaluation. I had to evaluate who I was, why I was not good enough to be a girlfriend, and what I can do to prevent this from happening a second time.
Years go by and:
I am in a car with a man I am extremely sexually attracted to. I am well aware of his “taken” relationships status, so I resist the urge to grab his package and make him tell me it belongs to me by way of oral stimulation. But, he had other plans. As I hug him good bye to end the night, he embraces my neck with an intense kiss that has my hair standing on end. He stares me in the eyes and says, “We are doing this. But, no one can know”.
What an ultimatum!
Lost in his eyes and adrift by the sensation that has sent shock waves through my body and into the depths of my moist nether regions, here is a visual representation:
I reply, “I know”. He leaves me sitting in the idea and wandering in my strong desire to fuck him. A tease. I like.
Following that day, I did not expect myself to, actually, become the second woman. I enjoyed the thrill of that moment and let it go the next. But, that man was temptatious. I could not help myself but to strike up a conversation on how he is bad for me and vice versa. That conversation led to another. A week goes by and I find myself in the backseat of a car, with my mouth encased over his … fast forward … from that moment on, I became the side chick.
I am going to pause and give you a moment. You are sweating right now. You thought my sultry blog post almost became an online erotic tale.
Once the deed was done, we created our terms of agreement. In light, they were:
- Strictly no strings attached
- This was strict simply because he assumed all women are alike. Little does he know, I am excellent with my newly learned craft of “no strings attached”. So, this was a warning that I was not the only one, aside from his girlfriend, and vice versa. Also, this rule includes no feelings attached. Once someone caught feelings, the agreement is terminated and the sexual relationship will be nonexistent.
- In case of pregnancy, terminate.
- Always use protection.
- Testing every 6 months
- No one knows of the sexual relationship
- No public display of affection
- Basically, limiting flirtation, keeping a distance, no sex in public places or places anyone could potentially spot us.
We, also, held unspoken rules:
- No kissing.
- Kissing is intimate to me. Its a way to get closer to the individual and I did not want closeness with him. So, I did not kiss him.
- Late night sessions only.
- No sleeping over.
- No cuddling or anything that leads to sleeping over.
Typically, society expects women to be the violaters of terms in any casual relationship. I would like to consider myself a woman who trumps all myths about the female sex and expose the truth about double standards: “men typically…”.
So, I will not pretend that the “contract” (per say) led to a successful agreement without violations. He violated the term of not revealing our sexual relationship to anyone all because of his ego. You know, men must brag about their sexual escapades. Especially, when it is with someone as sexually liberated and exposed as I am. Although in violation, rules can be bent. The individual he revealed this “top secret information” could keep the information a secret. So, there was no harm done.
From then, the agreement was perfect. We communicated enough to say we were friends and as minimum enough to not be discovered as sexually intimate friends.
So, I was a friend with sexual benefits and a side piece. When ever he needed a lending ear for comfort or needed his pleasures indulged, he could call or text.
This agreement occurred for 6 months. Yes, for 6 months I indulged in the pleasures of being with another woman’s boyfriend without a care in the world. I know the biggest question is whether it ended because his girlfriend find out or not. And too soothe your mind, she never found out. I am fantastic at my craft and, even more, to my vow of secrecy.
His relationship was “complicated”. Although “complicated” is over used in this society, it was the best way to describe their relationship. So, I deduced that she did not find out because she was not looking nor did she care about his actions outside of the relationship. Without revealing too much information about the couple, I will say I was his muse.
But, all things done behind closed doors must end. And it ended because I concluded it was over. I lose interest in men as I do after watching 11 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. Once sexual satisfaction becomes less about us and more about you, I am bored. So, I moved on to the next. By next, I mean another man, whom was not in a relationship.