I asked Florida Haitian Student Organization’s (HSOs), Haitian Twitter, and the Haitians Who Blog community to name great things about Haitian men. And they narrowed down all the great qualities of Haitian men to 13 characteristics that will end the slander of Haitian men.
Oh no! *inserts rolling eyes emoji*. Not another hate, shaming blog post about Haitian men, Black men, or men in general.
Well, you have dodged a bullet because you are absolutely right! It is another post about men. Although, I would not place it in the “shaming of men” category. This post is, more of, a thanks to my exes because I will never let another man:
1. Underestimate my worth.
Throughoutsocial media I see individuals exclaiming “know your worth”. I, unfortunately, overlooked the overall meaning of this trending phrase. In my continuous search for “the” one, “the” only relationship, I realized that I try my hardest to prove my worth to men who are not paying attention.
So, you have decided to pursue a long distance relationship or you are currently in a long distance relationship and find it difficult. Hey friend 👋! You are not on your own.
I romanticized long distance relationships but, being in one changed my whole perspective of relationships. I am use to bitter women downplaying their relationship because it is over. I will not be that blogger. My LDR taught me more good than harm.
A great friend of mine said to me, “I don’t think relationships were meant to be in long distance”.
Do you believe in love and the promises it gives? The lighthearted, overjoyed, valuable, and emotional that love is. To have the greatest feeling in the world and not afraid to show it. The strong affection felt by two people in a romantic relationship. To know that one person wants to love you for life like Jodeci as he gets down on one knee while you are serenaded by the smooth vocals of Boyz II Men. On his knee, to propose, and ask his dream woman for her hand in marriage because she has changed him like Jamie Foxx and Chris Brown said, “Cuz you changed me baby”. As he waits for her to answer yes to the man she spent years searching for, the man of her dreams.
You got caught up with your friend with benefits and thought you were his girlfriend. Your FWB is now a committed relationship. You stepped over the boundary and now he plays a vital role in your life; like a part of your routine. He is now your breakfast, lunch, and dinner *rolls eyes*. You done fucked up!
Want to hang out (for real)
That “Wyd or WUUP2” text does not mean, “Hey I am fienin'”. It means, hey let’s hang out; it means I want your company; I miss you; I need you here.
Late nights turn into late evenings
You want to spend more time with him so you hit him up earlier than the usual late night sex text or call.
A friend is someone you trust; someone who trusts you; someone you share history, circumstances, and mutual interests with; someone you develop experiences with; someone you may be compatible with. Some “friends” go beyond that by becoming sexually involved. This, new, potential relationship is labeled “Friend with Benefits” (FWB).
Individuals that pursue this type of relationship is:
Too busy to invest time into a committed relationship.
Recovering from a past break up and desire sexual intimacy.
Interested in someone who does not show interest and believes sex without commitment may spark said interest.
Some may think these individuals are purposefully avoiding relationships. Others assume it is just a phase that women or men develop following a horrid break up. Regardless of the negative connotations associated with your current arrangement, it is beneficial.
Benefits of a FWB
You are in an arrangement with someone who knows you and someone you can fully trust. You are comfortable with them and you can be your true self with them.
You are free to do what you want and when you want. You are not bounded to someone. You can be yourself and in a space free of judgment.
You do not have to scour social media outlets such as Tinder for your next random sex partner when you need to knock your rocks off. There is no need to jump from bar to bar, drunken, in search for something sweet to soothe your needs. When you need it, give your FWB a call. Since it is an arrangement, they will be willing and ready to satisfy your cravings.
Solo sex is no fun! Sex with someone you know is better. Since there is no commitment, you can feel comfortable in having liberated, safe sex, rather than hooking up with random strangers for a quick fix.
FWB’s is a real connection. It’s not you scrolling through Tinder liking every random persons picture in hopes someone will do the same. This person is there and will always be for as long as you want. So, if you aren’t feeling “committed relationships” lately,think of a potential FWB. But, know the cons to a FWB as well.
Who ever told you relationships are easy, fed you unrealistic expectations of relationships. A relationship is a bond where two imperfect people come together attempting to perfect one another. In order to do this, the couple must be willing to make certain sacrifices to keep the relationship happy, healthy, and prosperous. These sacrifices include dedicating yourself to one individual for a period of time, giving up privacy, and etc.
Unfortunately, there are individuals who view commitment as an obstacle in the path of their pursuit of romantic relationships. This view presents the fear of love or the fear of relationships, and exemplifies a “commitment-phobe”.
Used interchangeably, commitment issues, relationship anxiety, or commitment phobia, is a problem that is not new.
As mentioned in the definition of commitment, it is safe to infer that being committed in a relationship is to be dedicated to that relationship and partner.